Do expectations hurt??

I am in mood to write lots of philosophy,metaphysics and things like that. If its not your cup of tea, skip it. Don't blame me for not warning you.

There are two ways of looking at it. I present them both and you choose whatever you like.

First theory:

I have received an SMS sometime back, which goes like this:

"Do not expect anything from life,expectations hurt. When you don't expect, every moment, everything is a surprise and every surprise brings happiness with it."

A very profound theory. That's what even Holy Bhagavad Gita preaches to some extent. Do your duty and not worry about the results. A sense of detachment from the work, which Swami
Vivekananda explained masterly.

But it is feasible? That's a different topic and let's keep it for some other day.

What I understand from this theory is, if you do expect something and if it doesn't turn out the way you expected it, you are in for a good amount of beating. Instead, if you do not expect anything, any result or any event will look interesting whether or not it is good.

Second theory:

This story is very interesting.

Once there was a principal of a school who wanted to conduct a study. He chose some students
and put them together in a class. He told them that they were the best in the school. And they were taught like the rest of the students.

When the results were out at the end of the year, these students fared way above others. Because everybody expected them to do good as they are the best.What does it mean? You do the thinking.

Actually, these students were chosen randomly, not the best in any way.

So, do expectations hurt? Yes, they do.

Do not expect anything when it involves people. I would rather say that expect it to be a failure, if goes well, great or you lose nothing as you were prepared for it. I might sound like a pessimist, but I don't care and if you know me, I am anything but that.

There is a saying in Telugu: Look at the negative aspect and then positive aspect of the outcome.

First, negative then positive, not the other way around. Its designed so that we don't get dragged into something by only looking at the good aspects. I think that's a good way of handling expectations.

But it becomes little complicated when we deal with friends. When we meet them traveling long distance we expect some warmth and to feel welcomed. I have learnt a solid lesson not long ago,which I am going to remember for a long time. I will write about it in my next post called indifference.

Second return journey to Delhi - last post

If you are reading it, I suggest that you read from pilani, the first post in this series and come up until you reach here.

I was on my way to Delhi on 28th and at around 2pm I received a message from Air Deccan that my flight at 8pm was cancelled!!! I reached airport at 4pm and went to Air Deccan counter to talk to them about alternatives. They offered me either a refund or booking on the next flight that was at 6pm next morning. I called up my friend and asked whether any other flight was available which I could afford.

I did not have any option and chose for booking on the next flight. I met a middle-aged man who was in similar situation. He seemed worried, I told him its ok, we could leave tomorrow morning. He came to Delhi on business and also to meet his son, who was working in Noida.

India was playing England that day and it was a low-scoring match. By the time we spotted a TV inside the airport, the match was over. We got to see the highlights. All the TVs at the airport were sponsored by STAR and they aired only STAR news through out the night. It was quite a night. I slept couple of hours and studied a little-my final exams were on the coming weekend.

I also met a girl who came coming from Lucknow and got stuck. Another one was going to
Hyderabad from Kanpur. His flight was on time, its just that he reached early.

Fortunately the next flight was not cancelled and left for bangalore on time. We reached bangalore at 8:30 and I went straight to my friend's place, close by airport.

I was happy to be back in bangalore, where I knew people and paths. I was ready for a bumpy ride to pilani and other place but it turned out to be more grueling and bitter than I expected. As I said, it taught me few lessons and I would remember them. Of course, there were good moments too and I would cherish them equally.

My suggestion to all who are contemplating going to pilani from bangalore for make up exam is: do not go unless you have pressing reasons, goa is damn near and as my colleague suggested you can have feni at the beach.

Return journey to Delhi

I walked down to bus-station in pilani and found out that a direct bus to Delhi would leave at 2:15pm. I had half-hour to pass. I saw couple of guys standing at the same platform and struck a conversation. One of them was going to Delhi and his younger brother was there to help with the computer that he was carrying to Delhi. I introduced myself and he told me that he was Sudheer Sharma and working with IAF(Indian Air Force) at Delhi.

Bus left 5 minutes early(a little surprise to me). And I helped Sudheer with his computer. He
decided to sit on the last seat, I sat beside him on the last row. I would not have done it but I needed his help to go to a place from Delhi.

Bus journey was eventful, Sudheer was allergic to smoking and almost fought with couple of guys over it. The bus went via dadri instead of Bhiwani and it got crowded like crazy. People had trouble finding a place to stand. Sudheer was in logistics division of IAF and he looked little
unhappy that he was not a pilot. He told me how he chose to join IAF with the dream of becoming a pilot by rejecting an engineering seat at BITS,pilani in staff quota.He said he was getting transferred to Assam in coming June. Assam is very far from pilani and he was concerned that he would not be able to visit his parents often. He also spoke about the bureaucracy in IAF.

Sudheer got down 30kms before Delhi and the rest of journey became boring. I had a chat with
the conductor of the bus. He told me that they had to make a trip back to dadri at 8pm. It won't be before mid-night that he reached home.

I reached ISBT at 7:15pm, reached earlier than expected. And I was in no hurry to reach early as my next bus was not until 11:30pm. I bought the ticket and waited at ISBT. Went to Mc'Donalds and had a burger. The bus left at 11:45 and I remember trying to sleep without much success. I did not know that this trip would enlighten me and teach me a valuable lesson.

Fourth day at pilani - The last day of exams

I got up and checked the time on mobile, it showed 5am, I checked my watch, it showed 4am!!! I thought I would call up home and ask, but it was too early to disturb them. I went out to check whether I could make the time-it was very dark. I had no time to amuse myself so I went back to study AOS, the last paper.

I studied for an hour and went out to see the sun, but it was still dark. Then I knew that it was 5am and my mobile time got changed by an hour, its still a mystery to me how that happened--may be to make up for the time I lost by sleeping early.

Anyway, I had breakfast and went to temple at 9:30 and reached exam hall by 9:45. Prof.Venkat was there urging everyone to get in ASAP, although there was time left for the exam to start. I asked for some more time and gone through few algorithms. Exam started at
sharp 10am and my first thought was paper was easy. But when I started writing answers, I
realised that I forgot few algorithms. And screwed up the few I wrote. I managed to write as much as I could in two hours and left the hall. I thanked Prof.Venkat for letting me use CSD lab to listen to online lectures on my way out.

I went to computer lab to check out train and bus timings to go to a place from Delhi that night. I got few details and went back to VFAST hostel and I saw Dean talking to someone. I had few words with him told him I am leaving immediately. He wished me a happy journey. I went to my room and packed my bag. I had my lunch at one and paid the bill and bid adieu to BITS, pilani.

Third day at pilani - the first day of exams

As I feared got up late i.e. at around 7:30 and went to books without any delay. Studied till 8:45 then got ready and had breakfast. Finished breakfast quickly and ran back to my room.

I had left the room at 9:25 and went to temple, its very beautiful. I would attach some pictures to this post later.The temple had a magnificent statue of Saraswathi, the goddess of studies. I prayed quickly for time was at a premium. Then I went to DLPD to find out that exams were being held somewhere else. It took time for me to locate that place and I managed to get there 15 minutes before my exam started. The paper was Network Security. I expected to see questions related to cryptography and relates security algorithms but none appeared, it was a very generic paper and I didn't like it. I was thinking if a closed book paper was like this, how would an open-book exam be?

Anyway, I managed to complete the paper and started studying for the next exam which would start at 2pm. Prof.Venkat saw me and asked whether I had lunch, I said no. He said have your lunch and come back, VFAST is charging you for lunch also, whether or not you eat:) I went back to VFAST hostel and had a quick lunch and came back to face one more exam.

The second paper was Real-Time systems(RTS). I gave the least priority to RTS as it is a 3-credit paper, other papers being 4 and 5 credits. I do not remember how did the paper go, it looks like a long ago. I remember trying to solve some numerical questions related to scheduling, unsuccessfully.

So much for both the exams. I went back to my room and started studying and going through what I already studied for AOS(advanced operating system). This paper had tens of algorithms
and many were improvements over other algorithms. AOS being the subject with the highest
credits(5), I had do do well to get a decent grade. I was very tired and slept by 11:30PM, of course, I had dinner, VFAST would charge me anyway.

Second day at Pilani

I got up late at 8 in the morning, got ready and went for breakfast. They also served idly besides other north indian dishes. I did not expect idly and sambar.

Came back to my room and resumed studying. There was lot to study and time was short. It always happens during exams. You always wish that you started studying a week earlier than you did.

After 2 or 3 hours I went out for a walk and surprised to hear lot of students speak telugu, my mother tongue. I came to know that 45% of students at pilani are from Andhra. Its amazing
but I should have known. BITS was hosting a technical fest during that week and I could see
students involved in lot of activities.

I was eager to visit the famous saraswathi temple. I deferred that till evening. At lunch, I met Mazid. He's from Jammu and arrived late last night. He had papers to write on Sunday. He also had AOS(advanced operating systems) and asked whether we could study together. I said ok. Then I went back to my studies.

I went to DLPD after sometime and requested prof.Venkat whether I could use CSD to check
some online lectures, he let me use a computer at CSD. I was there till 8 in the evening and realised there was a lot which I didn't study.

I met Mazid again at dinner and planned to go out for coffee in the night. And the tech. fest was still going on. I saw lot of people going in a particular direction and asked them what was going on there, they said "brain of BITS" was going on. It was a quiz contest. After dinner we went to see that quiz. Mazid didn't particularly like it but I liked it. Then we went back to studies. He called me at 00:30am and we went for coffee. We saw huge crowd at coffee bar,looked like quiz contest was over and the mob thronged coffee joint.

It has been my habit to sleep at 12 the night before exam and get up at 5 on the exam day. But nothing seemed to go the way I expected in this trip and I slept at 2am and I knew that I would not have enough time to go through some topics in the morning as the exam would start at 10am.

Pilani

I missed my mid-semester exams as I was out of station and I had to choose either pilani or goa as the centre for make-up exams for the missed mid-semester exams.I chose pilani(don't ask me why.) One of my colleagues advised me to go to goa and have feni at the beach(forget the exams, you could take them next semester). Anyway I chose pilani and was looking forward to that.

I have taken an air deccan flight on march 23rd and reached Delhi at 8:30am. I was told that the last direct bus to pilani from Delhi was around 10am. I took a bus(Airport to city coach) to ISBT Delhi. By the time I got to ISBT it was 10:15am and I missed the last direct bus. I took a mini-bus till Bhiwani and reached there by 2:20pm and luckily, there was a connecting bus to pilani, which was leaving immediately. I got in that bus and reached pilani at 4:30pm. I had to ask couple of guys to put off the beedi they were smoking and it took a lot to convince them. I told them if they didn't stop smoking I would throw up.I hired a rickshaw to go to VFAST hostel, which is inside the BITS campus. Actually, you need not take a rickshaw, its approximately 5-minute walk from bus-stand to the campus.

The campus of BITS, pilani was great. Well planned and equally well maintained. All the paths had trees planted on either side and gave enough shadow for people to walk under. Students were allowed to have only bicycles, hence the pollution level was low. They tried to make it as self-sustainable as possible.

I had called up VFAST hostel 2 days earlier and made sure that I would get a room. They had plenty of rooms and gave me one. I went to my room and took bath. Called home and informed them I reached safe and sound. After that I took a map of the campus and went for a walk.I reached DLPD at around 7pm and I found Dean still working. I told him that I came for make-up exams from bangalore. He said "generally we expect students from bangalore to go to goa". I said I wanted to see the campus, for which he replied "you will have to come for the dissertation anyway". I didn't know what to say and kept quiet. Its a big story why I chose to go to pilani and I don't want to write about it here.

Dean was very friendly. He talked about life at Pilani. He explained their future plans and projects. I lent him a patient ear. He asked me whether I could find DLPD easily, I told him I followed the map and it was not a problem. He was happy that people were using his maps. He then talked about bangalore traffic and how difficult is it to find an address there etc. He introduced me to Asst. Dean, Prof. Venkat. He also seemed very friendly. He offered me to use CSD and computer lab if I need. I said thanks and left.

My mobile phone did not detect the network and I was worried that I would not be reachable in case someone wanted to call me. But it soon found the network and I was relieved. Hostel rooms did not TV and I could concentrate on my studies without any disturbance. But inside the campus, they play movies sporadically. Dean has told me that each student had internet connection in his room. He also asked me to visit the museum, located inside the campus.

I roamed around for some more time and went back to the room. I called up VFAST and found
that dinner would be served from 8. I was hungry and went for dinner. Dinner was very good, quality is high and the variety was also good. I went back to my room and started studying for the exams on weekend(25th and 26th), that's the boring part and I refrain from boring you with that in this post.

I will cover rest of my trip in coming posts.